Shannon @ 10:24:00 AM
Tuesday, April 08, 2008
Just keep chuggin'
So as I said before, things in my life are rollin' along despite my tendency to look in the past. I've gotten better with that, though. I still find myself thinking of Matt on ocassion... Like yesterday I wondered what it'd be like to be in his arms and last night I wondered what it'd feel like to sleep next to him. I really do miss him and I'm ashamed that I missed my chance, but... I guess it was supposed to be this way. Day by day, I s'pose, I miss them (both of them) less, but I'll never forget them.
"They say it takes a minute to meet a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them, and an entire life time to forget them."
I still haven't talked to either of them yet... Still haven't decided what I'm going to do yet, either. I'm just kind of letting time take it's course and going with it... Trying to, anyways.
Next year I will be a RA on the other side of campus... This is the job I wanted all year, just not the location. But... Who knows. Maybe it'll be a good thing. Maybe it'll be fun. My friend Cliff got placed over there too, so I'll know someone and we'll be able to work together. Yay! The whole idea of going over there and being a RA is kind of intimidating... Maybe it's because I have to move out and I feel like I'll be away from a lot of my friends, I don't know... Maybe it's that I'll have to try to be authoritative with people older than me. I'm just hoping it won't be that hard...
I haven't talked to Diego yet... I dunno that I will. I just... I don't miss him that much and I'm still kind of... Upset with him. Matt hasn't talked to me either which indicates to me that he won't... Ever. That's alright, I guess... I can't do anything about it and I'm not going to push it. He deserves his peace as much as I deserve mine (do you know how weird it is to be on both sides of this coin? AWKWARD!).
In happier news... Liza and I got a pet on Sunday. It's a little dwarf hamster... Her name is Fiona because my friend Shatawndra kept yelling at her to turn into a cat. (Get it? Fiona from Shrek turns into an ogre... My excuse for my hamster not turning into a cat is that she's already had her true love's first kiss and so she'll stay a hamster. :P) Everyone wants a cat on the floor (well, maybe not everyone, but a lot of people) but obviously we can't have one. I'll be taking Fiona home with me over the summer and back to school in the fall so I don't get lonely in my single room.
Oh, right... Did I mention that I get a single room paid for by the school? Sweet, right? In addition I don't have to pay for my phone or my internet and they also pay for half of my board (meal plan). This cuts my school bills in half, at least. I'll still have to take out loans, but I have grants and a scholarship, so. It's still great.
Classes and things are going pretty well... I'm a bit behind on math homework but that's easy, chem is getting tougher but I think if I study well enough tonight I should be fine for my test tomorrow. Everything else is relatively easy as well, I just know it's going to get more tough as all these projects I'm being handed are due and finals start getting closer and closer.
It's so weird to think that we have only a few more weeks (5?) before the end of the year and it's time to move out. It's kind of intimidating and scary... Once we leave Johnson things will never be the same. I mean, I'm sure I'll still have contact and still hang out with people but it just won't be the same. I'm somewhat looking forward to the new experience (especially having my own room... I like my roommate and all, but her boyfriend is getting on my nerves a bit...) and meeting new people... I just hope that everyone that I'm friend's with now still hangs out. I kinda don't want to go home... I don't necessarily want to stay here for the summer, but I don't necessarily want to go home.
As I've said in previous posts, home isn't so much a comfort anymore as it is a short of prison. Not because of my parents - though I'm sure they are bound to get on my nerves now that I have a taste of 'freedom' - but because of Matt and Diego. Hopefully by the time I go home I don't think about them as much and I'll be able to handle being home better.
In any case, I've got class soon. Oh joy...