Shannon @ 11:39:00 PM
Monday, November 23, 2009
How do you be the friend after being the girlfriend? How do you ignore that sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach? How do you not overreact when he wants to leave, when you know he's going to spend time with her, when he stops talking to you to play a game? How do you strike a balance between feeling and hurting? Where does this line end? Is there an easy way to do this?
Can I do both? Is that even possible? Right now it does not feel like it. I want to punch him and at the same time I want to kiss him. I want to push him away, not talk to him because it would be easier, but at the same time I want to hug him and never let go. How do I stop feeling this way, stop this stupidity?
How do I stop holding out hope for this? How do I stop myself from thinking anything will ever come of this again?
How does this work?
So many questions and just not enough answers... Ever.
0 in love...
Shannon @ 2:59:00 PM
Sunday, November 22, 2009
Breathing
I wonder, sometimes, if you just smile through the pain if it will just go away.
I don't want to feel this way - I'm happy for him, glad he's moved on and maybe, in a way, that will help me too. The hardest part will be being friends. It will be holding on to the jokes and the sarcasm and not the hugs. It'll be differentiating between him being himself and him flirting. It'll be hard. It won't be fun for a while, but I'm going to try. We'll see how this goes, I guess. And, one day, like he said, I'll find someone to be happy with too.
But, ya know... I've heard that before. I've heard that a few times, from a few people for a while now... I just have to wonder when something is going to happen.
0 in love...