Rawr. Okay, so. It's Friday, and I'm two blocks away from my weekend.

I can't wait. I'm tired (@____@), bored (.__.;), and like... I have to go to the bathroom. xD I don't want to go to chem today... Meh... So boring...

Art today, though. Which is good. I have to start shading my hand drawing. Wo0t.

Oooo! I forgot one yesterday.

Fucking pre-calculus. :D

Fucking English homework, fucking Mrs. Moore, fucking Puritans, fucking literature, fucking junior year, and fucking school.

I think you get the point here.

So.

My cousin is more or less my new brother.

End of the school year AT LEAST. For all we know, he could be living with us for a long, long time.

RAH.

Well, shit. Is my extended family ever screwed up.

Summary: Uncle going to jail for various things, my Aunt is too sick to take care of her five kids, so they had to be split up. We got Joey, and he will be living with us... Probably until the end of the school year. At least, that's what I got out of it.

This. Sucks. I'm sorry. It may sound mean, but I don't want him here. I know that his circumstances give him no other choice, but... GAH! So sudden... I just... Hate it. Sigh.

Rah. Life just *loves* me this week.

On that lovely note:

Here's something I made a while ago.

So basically... I hate life.

Not just my life, but life in the general sense. And yet, at the same time, I love it. I'm not sure what to think any more. So confused. o___O;

History homeowork ahoy!

Why do I have to wait seven months? .___.;

I want April here now, plzkthnxbai.

This one is for the lovely Susan who requested it. :3

1. Susan is a wonderful person... Though sometimes she seems morbid and errr.. . o.O

2. Hmmm. Anything country reminds me of you, really.

3. Oooh. Susan jello wrestling... Uhm... Hmm. Blueberry? Or maybe pineapple or something...

4. Erm. Not sure, actually. o.O

5. Hrm. I think it was probably in homeroom in freshman year. Or like... Yeah. I think that was it.

6. You remind me of some sort of bird... Or maybe even a butterfly; delicate and beautiful.

7. Hrm. Why do you complain so much about crew if you love it so much? And if you don't love it, why do you do it?

1. Reply with your name and I will write something random about you.

2. I will then tell you what song/movie reminds me of you.

3. I will pick a flavor of jello to wrestle with you in.

4. I will say something that only makes sense to you and me.

5. I will tell you my first memory of you.

6. I will tell you what animal you remind me of.

7. I'll then ask you something that I've always wondered about you.

8. If I do this for you, you must post this on your blog.

This is for Erin.

1. You have to stop liking feet. xD

2. "Instant Pleasure" by Rufus Wainwritght or "Kiss the Rain" by Billie Myers... A movie would be Moulin Rouge, only because you talk about it so much. xP

3. Hmm... Key lime, I think.

4. "I walked into a wall." "What wall?" "The door!"

5. Blahblahblah. We know this story. Scraped knee in school, yaddayaddayadda.

6. You8 remind me of a cat... Perhaps a cougar, or a panther.

7. What is it that you want to be when you're older again? xD

I'm pretty sure I had someting inetersting to say here today.

I'm pretty sure that I had something to say about why I was in tears twice today.

Then again, I don't think it's worth posting. Nothing about the subject seems worth it anymore, not after having to walk in front of her today, knowing she was there, and wanting to turn around and shake her and ask her so many things. I wanted to cry to her, I wanted to hug her, I wanted to hit her, and most of all, I wanted to know something. I wanted an answer to a question that I knew she couldn't give. I wanted an answer to something that I don't think anyone could answer; and I'm going crazy over it. I want to know, damnit.

But at the same time... That was the first time I had serious "contact" with someone I "wasn't supposed" to anymore. That was the first time where I seriously almost turned around and started rambling, talking, and being upset. But... The mere fact that I didn't, and I held it together, I hope, is an indication that I am on my way away from this stupidity that seems to control my life. They have moved on; and nothing will ever be the same. No amount of smiles, tears, or regret will EVER change what happened.

That's all this is. Stupidity.

So... Blogging. WTF is that?

Anyways.

First few days of school have been so-so. I love my Spanish teacher, as I said, and everything else is alright. 'cept for math. I'm going to fail pre-calculus. Damnit.

Otherwise, my life has been uneventful. It's boring not having anyone you really know in your classes. I know a few people in the "well, you're pretty cool, you know my name and I can talk to you" sorta way. Like Charisse or Rachel. I guess it'll help me concentrate in class more? Maybe. Meh.

Also, on that token, thankful that none of the people that I am forced to call "ex-friends" are in any of my classes. Well, except for Psychology which I have with Tasha, but that's only one class and I can deal with that. It's not so weird if I ignore her; or treat her like someone I don't know, and don't talk to. I guess that's the easiest way to deal with it. I almost want to re-introduce myself, and stuff, but I won't. Over and done with, in the past. I'm just having a hard time getting over it 'cause I don't know what the hell happened. Or what the hell I did. Or what they hell they think I did. Wish I knew. Then again, does anyone really know? I doubt it. Guess that'll never happen.

::sigh:: Well, on that note, I have history homework I should be doing. Sorta. Meh.

I've decided I really like this song:

Alkaline Trio - Mercy Me
It's been a long day living with this
It's been a long time since I felt so sick
I took a long walk straight back home
I could've walked back to San Francisco
I used to long for time alone
I used to long for a place of my own
and I'm losing faith in everything
I'm lost, so lost, i'm lost at sea, you'll see

I used to long for broken bones
I used to long for a casket to call my own
I never had a problem facing fear
but I'm done, over and dumb my dear and

Oh mercy me
God bless catastrophe
There's no way in hell
We'll ever live to see through this so
Drive yourself insane tonight
It's not that far away and I just
filled up your tank earlier today
(Yeah!)

It's been a long day living with this
It's been a long time since I felt so sick
I took a long walk straight back home
I could've walked back to Chicago
I used to long for time alone
I used to long for a place of my own
and I've lost faith in everything
I'm lost, so lost, I'm lost without you

Oh mercy me
God bless catastrophe
There's no way in hell
We'll ever live to see through this so
Drop yourself and stay tonight
It's not that far away and I just
filled up your tank earlier today
(Yeah!)

So drop yourself and stay tonight
It's not that far away and I just
filled up your tank earlier today
(Yeah!)

I got it free with my updated version of winamp, and it makes me happy. It's really good. :3 This is the same why I got "Ohio is for Lovers" by Hawthorne Heights. Emo music. But it's damn good. xD

Ho'kay. So. Third day of school, and it's finally Friday. Hallelujah.

So. The first few days of school were alright. Parts of it were pretty awkward; seeing 'em in the hallways, not being able to talk to them afterschool, etc., etc. But... Oh well. Their decision, it is how it is. It's getting better, easier, already. For that I am thankful.

Anyways. So. School. Here is my schedule (I'll do it like Erin xD):

A/C
Honors/AP English - Moore
Psychology - Snyder
Honors American History - Bach
Lunch
Chemistry Lab - Mrs. Hughes
Symphonic band - Mr. Hughes (not married/related)

B/D
Math IV A; Pre-Calculus - Graseck
Spanish IV H - Jones
Lifetime - Ruzzi
Lunch
Chemistry - Hughes
Studio in Art - Kokosa

Right, so. As you can see, I have no free periods other than lunch, which I will venture to say might be a bitch because of math. Why? Because I am going to DIE during math this year. DIE. Graseck... Just... Eww. She seemed kind of nice for a while, but then she turned into this psycho bitch. Wow. Hmm... I LOVE MY SPANISH TEACHER! He rocks. Hard. Jones=Love. :3

Snyder is awesome, too, seeing as I've had her before and that was my best year in History... EVAR. Mr. Hughes is pretty neat... But I have a feeling band is not gonna be all that much fun this year. Not that it was last year. I've sort of lost my liking for it, but I'll continue only because it is still nice, just... Not as nice as it used to be. Again, Adam Evans is next to me. I am last chair. Wo0t. xD

Bach seems pretty neat, too. He's loud, and he seems really enthusiastic and stuff. I like him... He's neat. He does seem to have a twitch, and a bit of a stutter sometimes. Reminds me of Mrs. Black... xD

Speaking of Mrs. Black and science, Mrs. Hughes my Chem teacher seems pretty neat too. She just seems like the type of teacher I'm going to be able to stand - Not love, not hate, just tolerate.

Anyways. I am EXHAUSTED right now. I'm gonna go like... Sleep. Or something. Yeah, that's it.

Ho'man. It's 6:30 AM and I am up and ready for school.

Damnit.

So. Today, my second to last day of freedom, was quite boring.
I really didn't do too much differently tomorrow, either, which is sad. :( I wanna get together with people before school starts but someone (who shall remain nameless ::cougherinshermancough::) didn't finsih their projects and is still, as I gather, rather busy. Mrr.

Tomorrow I think I might try to beat FFX. Why? 'cause well... I guess it'd be cool? I 'unno. I'm a loser like that. And I'll only play if my brother goes out, 'cause I hate playing video games while he's around. It's annoying. He tries to tell me what to do, and I wanna figure it out by myself. Anywho.

It's 12:35 and I should go to bed. Otherwise I'm going to want to shoto myself on Wednesday. Then again, I have a feeling I might want to do that regardless of how much sleep I get.

Ever just have one of *those* days?

Me too.

Sooooo.

As school slowly starts to approach, I realize how on some levels I am SO looking forward to it, and how on some, I'm not. Like, blah. I wanna go and have a LIFE, which is what school gives me to some extent, but I'm not looking forward to running on no sleep and doing homework. Oh well. I guess that's how life is... ::sigh::

Speaking of life... I dunno what's wrong with me lately. I'll get random feelings of like... Worthlessness and I'll be depressed and cranky. No, it's not PMS. :P I think it may just be due to the utter boredom of my life... But... I dunno. They are icky feelings, and I dunno what to do about them.

Meh. I'm off to do someting. 'unno what.