Shannon @ 9:02:00 AM

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

I need to stop giving away the most breakable thing I own.
All that happens is me getting hurt.

That, and I need to learn how to walk away from something, how to let it go.
I need to find someone HERE, someone close, not half a country away.

I want someone that cares and SHOWS it.
Even if it's just an IM when I'm not here.
Or a random text, just to say "hi".
Maybe a voicemail now and again.

I'm not that hard to please.
I swear.
I'm not asking for a lot.
I just want a little of your time to myself.

If you meant what you said before, this wouldn't be an issue.
And if you cared enough to notice, you'd see I'm down on my knees, broken and crying, because I don't know what to do next.
And I can't do this by myself any more.

I don't want to love any more because it hurts.
Because I feel like I give everything and don't get anything back.

fml

0 in love...

Shannon @ 9:30:00 PM

Wednesday, September 09, 2009

hugs

I want a hug. I want to be held. I want to have a guy wrap both of his arms around me and I want to just stand there, arms around his waist, swaying softly, head on his chest and just be. I want to live that moment - those moments. I don't want to have to talk. I want to cry but not necessarily be asked why. I want to cry because I'm so happy. I want to know what it feels like to have those arms around me. I haven't touched someone like that - held someone, been so close or intimate with someone - in well over two years. If I didn't have a taste for this already, if I didn't know how good I could feel, maybe this wouldn't be so bad. But I do, and it is, and it's eating me inside out. I don't think it's something I've ever done - holding someone in the silence - but it sounds so right, so peaceful so... Nice right now that I can't help but want it. Just to try it. Just to know.

1 in love...