Shannon @ 2:32:00 AM
Sunday, December 23, 2007
Survey
130 Random QuestionsWhen was the last time you cried?: Just a few minutes ago.
Have you ever faked sick?: Yes.
What was the last lie you said?: "I can't love you anymore."
Have you ever cried during a movie?: All. The. Time.
Who was the last person you couldn't take your eyes off of?: John Stone.
Have you ever danced in the rain?: Yeah. It was awesome.
Have you ever been drunk?: Only a little.
Have you ever tried tried drugs?: No.
Do you smoke?: Nope.
What's the farthest you've ever gone on a dare?: I've never played an actual game of Truth or Dare.
What is your full name?: Shannon Renee W____
What is your blood-type?: I don't know. I should probably find out...
Have you ever been in a car accident?: No.
How old were you when you recieved your first kiss?: 18.
Who was your first kiss?: My now ex-boyfriend, Diego.
Have you ever had an online relationship?: Too many.
Have you ever had phone-sex?: Yep.
Have you ever been rejected by a crush?: Yes.
What is your favourite sport to play?: Volleyball.
Have you ever made a prank phone call?: I think so.
Have you ever said "I Love you" and not meant it?: Yeah...
What's your favourite childhood memory?: I don't really remember that much...
Is there anything that you have done that you regret?: Oh yes.
What do you want to be when you grow up?: An animal handler/Zoo keeper
What is your political persuassion?: Liberal, generally.
Have you ever had cybersex?: Yep.
Do you believe in g-d?: No, not really.
Do you believe in love at first sight?: Yea
Do you believe in karma?: Mhmm.
Who was your first crush?: Matt
Who do yo uhave a crush on?: Matt
How would you describe yourself?: Prone to social anxiety especially surrounding food, friendly, smart, big-hearted, loved
What are you afraid of?: Losing him; being alone.
Are you religious?: No
What does your screen name mean?: I'm a "Jem" (Gem) of July, born on 7/17
What person do you trust the most?: My Mom
Who was your first boyfriend/girlfriend?: Matt
What is the best compliment you have ever recieved?: "I wish I could do that like you can."
What is the meanest thing anyone has said about you?: Too many to mention.
What is the longest crush/relationship you have had?: Three years...
What is your greatest strength?: My ability to make people laugh.
What is your greatest weakness?: Getting in too deep to be able to get myself out.
What is your perfect pizza?: White, broccoli, mushrooms, garlic.
What is your first thought when waking up in the morning?: "Fuck..."
What is your first thought before you go to bed?: "I miss him..."
What college do you want to go to?: I am in college.
Do you get along with your family?: Generally speaking.
Do you play any instruments?: Trombone.
What kind of music do you like?: All different kinds.
Do you think you're attractive?: Sometimes.
Would you ever get a tattoo?: Yeah
How many piercings do you have?: Two; regular ear piercings.
Who makes you laugh?: Lots of people.
Who would you want to be tied to for 24hours?: Matt.
Have you ever seen a dead body?: No
Do you have a celebrity crush?: Johnny Depp, Orlando Bloom, Heath Ledger...
What is one thing scientists should invent?: A way to heal a broken heart.
Have you ever broken a bone?: No
What happens after you die?: I'll find somewhere to go.
Do you watch or read the news?: Not really.
What stereotype would you label yourself as being?: Hopeless romantic
Would your friends agree with that stereotypic label?: Yeah and I'm sure they'd have others to add.
If yo ucould change your name, what would you change it to?: Tesla
If you could go back in time to one point in your life, where would you go: To when I told him, "I don't know anymore."
If you could change anything about yourself, what would you change?: My inability to express how I feel.
Have you ever gone skinny dipping?: Yeah
Have you ever played strip poker?: No
Would you ever lie to someone to make them feel good about themselves?: I think so
What do you want your friends to think about you?: I don't know, ask them.
Whats the biggest argument you've ever gotten into?: Breaking up with him.
HAve you ever bitten someone?: No
When's your birthday?: 7/17/89
Have you ever stolen anything?: Yeah
Do you make wishes on shooting stars?: When I can.
Whats the most you've ever eaten in one sitting?: Too much.
If you could go back and change one day, what would it be?: The day I lied to him.
Do you remember your dreams?: Sometimes.
Have you ever been in love?: Hardcore.
Are you a morning person or a night person?: I'm a midday person.
Do you have any phobias?: I don't think so.
What's the meanest thing you've ever done to someone?: Lie to them.
Have you ever been to the hospital (other then birth?: Yeah
How many screen names do you have?: One for each major messenger
Do any medical problems run in your family?: Obesity
Have anyone ever been disowned from your family?: No
Have you ever had a nightmare?: Yeah
Do you say meaner things to your friends or your enemies?: My enemies
Would you ever participate in a threesome?: Yeah
Would you ever pay for a prostititue?: No
Have you ever mooned or flashed someone?: No
Have you ever cheated on your bf/gf?: Yeah
Have you ever laughed so hard you peed in your pants?: Almost
Have you ever written a love letter?: No
Have you ever attempted suicide?: Yeah
Do you prefer boxers or briefs?: Boxers
Have you ever been in a fistfight?: No
Do you have any hidden talents?: I dunno, they're hidden.
What is one thing you want me to know about you?: That I love him.
What is one question you wouldn't want me to ask?: Why I love him.
Do you usually prefer books or movies?: Movies.
Who is your favourite person to talk to?: Matt
Who is always able to cheer you up when you're sad?: Matt
Would you ever have sex before marriage?: Yeah
Who do you talk to most on the phone?: Ramon
Do you have a secret that yo'ure ashamed of?: Yeah, kinda.
Do you prefer british or american spelling of words?: Either.
Have you ever gotten detention?: Yeah
How do you vent your anger?: Throwing things, WoW.
Have you ever been on a diet?: Am on one.
Would you ever date someone younger than you? Older than you?: No - Yes.
Is your best friend a virgin?: I believe so.
What's a rumor someone has spread about you?: I liked that one kid... Dante.
What's the kinkiest thing you could ever actually see yourself as doing?: Well...
What's the meanest thing anyone has ever done to you?: Told me they couldn't love me anymore.
What's the nicest thing anyone has ever done for you?: Loved me.
Have you ever been diagnosed with a mental illness?: No
Have you ever cut yourself on purpose?: No
Have you ever wanted to murder someone?: Thought about it.
Have you ever hated someone?: Momentarily.
Do you prefer talking on the phone or online?: Usually the phone.
Do you consider yourself popular?: Vaguely.
Would you ever tell the person you have a crush on that you like them?: Yeah
Have you ever had a crush on an enemy?: No
Have you ever had a crush on a best friend?: Yeah
What is your favourite book?: The DaVinci Code
Do you have a collection of anything?: Lots of things.
Are you happy with the person you are becoming?: Kind of.
Are you a different person now then you were 5 years ago?: Oh yeah.
What do you see yourself as being in 5 years from now?: Hopefully in his arms.
Are you happy with the life you have?: Sort of.
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3 in love...
Shannon @ 11:58:00 PM
Monday, December 10, 2007
http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4079/234/1600/allofus.jpgIf that isn't a blast from the past, I don't know what the fuck is.
1 in love...
Shannon @ 10:35:00 PM
If I were to tell you that life would never be as it was... That things would change; that I... That I have changed, what cause have you to believe me? None, you say. Correct. But that doesn't mean you can't... Simply that you won't.And while I understand your pain, you must understand it was never intentional. Never once did I mean to inflict upon you the heartache I have now. Never once did I have in mind to bring upon you any of this. I tried to protect you, to make this better for the both of us... But it backfired. Backfired into small, discrete little pieces, which no one can piece back together.
And for that, I am sorry. I am not sorry for what I did, but for the outcome of what happened. Not that I was trying to protect you; no, because I had every good intention 0f doing that. I am sorry for the fact that it came out wrong. I am sorry for something I couldn't really control and more so I am sorry that I cannot fix it. I can't put those minuscule pieces of what we once had back together... Not alone.
And because I'm the only one here, crouched on the floor in the dark, putting back together those pieces, with you watching from three steps back, I'm sure I'm alone. The darkness becomes more haunting every day, and I'm sorry to say that I can't stand it anymore. I'm giving up, laying down my pieces and my glue... For what I've tried to do has done little to advance what were are towards what we had. I am open to this, to us, to you... But are you?
I understand if you are not. I understand if you can't bare to put your heart out on that line again... Lest it be broken like it has been already. But if you can't do that, and again I do not blame you, then I can't put mine there beside it.
Everything you say to me is like a test... Every word spoken from my lips is being scored. A lie or truth? Fiction or reality? I can't live like that and this seemingly toxic thing between us can't stay through it. I do not condemn or condone your choice to do what you're doing... Only wish that you would change it. And that is all I can do; wish. And it's what I shall do while kneeling here before you on the floor, slowly piecing back together something that will never again be whole.
Your fear has pushed me away... And while I do not blame you for having fear, I will no longer take responsibility if we lose each other. I will not be responsible for putting together those pieces alone.
0 in love...