Shannon @ 12:23:00 AM
Thursday, May 29, 2008
feelin' alright
Aside from my sometimes over-active imagination and terribly over-analytical perspective on some things, I think I'm doing alright now-a-days.
I'm looking for a job at the moment... I've filled out maybe 12 applications so far and I'm going to go fill out some more for places in Colonie Center mall tomorrow... The Shoe Depot, Express, New York & Co, etc. Basically anywhere. I just really want a job; it's hard going from having a busy schedule to having absolutely nothing to do - it was nice for a few days, for sure, but now it's just getting tedious. In addition I miss making my own money. I definitely have money saved up from my two jobs on campus, but I don't like spending money if I'm not making some at the same time. Not to mention I have a few things in the near future that I'm going to need a substantial amount of money for (train tickets to the city at some point in June, going to Canada with the Oswego crew in July, and books for next semester).
I'm again unhappy with the way I've been keeping up with my diet... It's really hard being home and trying to stay on track, actually. My Dad has a tendency to cook quick (allbeit good) things that don't have much nutritional value. While I try to watch my portions, it's hard because there isn't much to snack on - so I get hungry and end up eating something I shouldn't because it's there. It's just difficult; at school I had a whole salad bar and fruit bar to go after which was very nice as an option for lunch or dinner.
Happier news, though, me and a certain someone have been getting along swimmingly. This is also, however, where the whole overly-analytical portion comes in, though. If he doesn't respond to me, I get nervous that I've done something wrong, or I get angry at him - which, mind you, goes away the minute he calls me or whatever. It just sucks because I'm creating my own issues here - not once has he brought up our bad past, but I keep bringing it up for myself. It's like I'm walking on egg shells around him, but only because I'm doing it to myself which is frustrating. I care for him deeply and I really can't wait to go to the city in June (either the 13th or the 20th through to the following Sunday, most likely). I really have to talk to him about it; mostly because if I get a job I have to get the time off, he has to make sure he can actually be there to see me, and I have to arrange with my roommate to make sure that her parents are cool with me staying with them for at least a night that weekend. Because, after all, I want to do this in a safe way - I'm very excited to meet him, but also kind of nervous and scared. While I do plan to spend at least one night with him, I want to have another place to go as well. All I can do is hope it will all work out, though... It will cost me between 70 and 100 dollars to take a train to Penn station, not including the cab or what have you to my roommate's house and then whatever transportation and food and whatever around and in the city. All that aside, though, I'm very excited to go meet him - and to see Liza!
I still haven't talked to Diego. I have, however, renewed my subscription to WoW just recently and will be playing again, at least for two months. It's hard going back to it (especially an established character) after being away for so long. That said, I don't know if me subscribing will change how I feel about contacting Diego. I really want to, mostly out of curiosity, but I'm very hesitant. Very, very hesitant.