Shannon @ 2:31:00 AM
Sunday, September 26, 2010
This is me...
...trying to get over you....telling myself it's the best way.
...telling myself that I deserve better... Even when all I want is you.
...trying, so hard, to make you see what you're on the verge of losing. So that maybe, just once, you'll try to save it.
...trying not to thinking about all the fun we had.
...trying not to ask you to come visit in October, or come meet my parents in November. You should say something first this time... I don't always want to be the only one.
...attempting to commit myself to a couple more months of relative solitude. Especially when I sleep or when I cry.
...trying to remember what it feels like to be loved for real. And remembering that that is what I deserve.
...trying to tell myself that it would be better for us if you were to end up with her. That somehow, despite how much it hurts to miss you now, in the end it would feel okay.
...missing you so much that it hurts... And wondering if you even so much as think about me during the day.
...trying to be your best friend. All while trying to hold out a glimmer of hope... Just in case you come around.
...trying to be mad at you... You were convinced that would make it easier on me.
Unfortunately... None of it's working too well. I don't know how to do this... I don't know what to do. I feel so incredibly lost and hopeless.
Comments:
Hi! I literally stumbled across your blog... I love it! I think of me at 20 feeling the same way about a guy and I know that someday you will be loved by THE guy! Keep writing- it is true therapy!
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