Shannon @ 7:33:00 AM
Wednesday, February 02, 2011
The hardest question I keep asking myself is "What if he doesn't love me back?" Or even enough? Or the same way? What in the world am I gonna do if he actually says no?I can't imagine life completely without him. I find my heart stopping at the suggestion that we would never speak again. It makes me sick to think that basically because of the love I feel for him, I'd never see him again.
I want, so desperately, to surround myself with him. I know where I want to be and where I want to go after I graduate... And it's with him.
I always knew I wouldn't leave Oswego for him, so I always knew we had time. We don't have much time left anymore and now I feel like I know where I need or want to be and who I need or want to surround myself with.
I know we have our issues. He frustrates me, makes me angry and doesn't do everything I ask him or don't ask him to do (as if I should expect him to do what I'm thinking in my head if I never tell him, right?). But he challenges me to stand up for myself and slowly but surely I'm gaining ground here.
I love him. A lot. He's my best friend and my confidant and my lover. He's not perfect, but neither am I. I know my love isn't enough to 'fix' this if it's 'broken'. But I'm hoping he's willing to meet me half way.
I just have to start the conversation, knowing there is the distinct possibility I could get an answer I don't want...
Comments:
Wow, you've got a lot of love for this guy... I dont think Ive ever met anyone who loves as much as you do for him. Its so much, thats its a little haunting...
I hope he comes around one day, I really do.
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I hope he comes around one day, I really do.
